It is probably no secret that I was not very excited about turning twenty last Monday. The thought of leaving teenager-ism and gliding into real adulthood scared me half out of my wits. But, it was more than just being scared. There were a lot of things that had me so uptight about turning two decades old. Plus, I had no cake.
Being nineteen was the best year of my life. So many wonderful things happened in my life. I officially became a music major. I landed my first ministry position. I got to work with AMTC all year long. I went to SHINE in Orlando and got a callback with Advantage Models & Talent (Nashville). I met so many new people through AMTC/SHINE. I traveled to New York City. I saw my first Broadway show. I got my first major role with AiM for Into the Woods.
Turning twenty meant that I was growing up. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THAT. That’s the reason Peter Pan and I have gotten along so well over the years. One negative thing (and probably the worst thing) about the age of nineteen was the fact that I lost contact with several people that I deeply cared about. Growing up means that this will occur more often. I hate losing friends. Even more, I hate getting close to someone really quickly and enjoying your time with them…and then it’s cut short by this irritating little thing call “growing up.”
But as I have spoken to two close friends about my problem with turning older, they both said the same thing: “What if 20 is going to be even better than 19?” And there lies my problem. I get so stuck on something good that I miss what could be better because I’ve enjoyed what I had so much. I am still not completely okay with the fact that I am no longer a teenager. But I am very excited about God’s plans for my future. You know, one that prospers me and doesn’t harm me…sound familiar?